i don't like sucking hair
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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