my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
