Sponge bath it is.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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