She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
