I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
