there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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