it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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