Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
