i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize