it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
