It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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