White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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