new low.... made out with someone while peeing
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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