god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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