Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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