You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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