My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
