I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
