I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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