one word: firstdatebathroomanal
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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