It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
did you just send me my own nude
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
