remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
