stop calling my apartment porn island.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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