He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
