We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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