I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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