She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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