i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
