No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
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