People with herpes should wear stickers.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
