So drunk its hurt
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
