No, drunk sperm still make babies.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
