Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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