I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
