i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sorry about my life...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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