Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The struggles of a small town man whore
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
