maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize