Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
