I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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