apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
