she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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