I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
