as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
