I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
