there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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