Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
