I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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