Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
