Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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