My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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