Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
