Kiss
Puke
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
