ya dads aren't the best wingmen
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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