I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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