If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
