worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
