dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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