hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
