nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize