i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
