I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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