so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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