They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Holy sore nipples Batman
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
